Recently, I was messaging with my niece about our walk of faith.  She shared some concerns and fears. Then she said something that really made me think. She said she wanted to be used by God like Moses was. Wow!!!  That is some serious wanting right there. I don’t even want to walk around Walmart with two hungry kids, let alone 40 years in a desert with a ton of whiny Israelites. Can you imagine trying to keep a million people happy for forty years in a desert.
No thank you!  Moses wasn’t some young man when he started this voyage to the Promised Land. He was eighty.

It got me thinking of other big names in the Bible and would I want to be used like them. Queen Esther is a good choice if you like barging into a room unannounced and unwanted. No thanks. I like to quietly come in and observe from the back of the room.

John the Baptist had a cool job of preparing the way for Jesus. I really like honey, but I will pass on the eating of locust and bugs. Besides, I like my head attached to my neck.  I guess Noah had a nice job. I like building things, but then I would have left off the snakes and other creepy animals. Daniel is a no go for me too. I would have been like, “Lord, if You say the lions won’t eat me, I trust You. You do NOT need to prove it to me.” Don’t even get me started on not wanting to be Job.

There will not be a Bible II. There will be no book written in our time that holds stories of the great things that Mother Teresa, Billy Graham, and Martin Luther King Sr. did to spread the Good News. The Book has been written and it is all we need to know. We need to do what God has commanded us to do.  It is human nature to want accolades and notoriety for the good we do. But, all of those people, did it out of obedience and love for God. They had no clue at the time, that their story would be part of the most published book ever. They didn’t know the millions of lives that would be saved due to their obedience.

While I love reading about the lives of those in the Bible, that is NOT my desert.

I was not created to walk those deserts. I was not created to build an ark, save the Jewish people, or stand in a fiery furnace. I have my own deserts to walk.

 I am not enjoying my current desert in the least. I don’t know that I have enjoyed any of them, but some do seem easier than others in hind sight. I encouraged my niece to serve where she can. See, she has a disease that greatly affects her ability to be physically active. She needs to rest far more than the average person. She has so much to offer and yet can not see it because of the desert she is in. We need to seek God and ask where He wants us. We need to allow Him to guide us through our valleys, deserts, oasis, and mountains. We need to be content in our obedience even if that means we get no recognition and we only serve in what we deem “small” ways.

My current desert is filled with a lot of physical, chronic pain. I have a high pain tolerance, but every day pain wears you out. I am worn out physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. That last one is not a good place to be. I know I can not stay here long and yet the darkness seems to have me trapped. 2 Corinthians 4:17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! That is the scripture my doctor spoke to me today as I cried about my pain.

Last night, I sat in our dark closet crying out to God. Here is a bit of what I said.  “God, I am tired of this. I can not take this pain anymore. I am irritable. I am tired. I am being rude to my husband and children. I hurt. I do not understand what it is that You could possibly be teaching me through this. I do not love You more now. I do not trust You more now. And if this desert is so someone else can learn something, then seriously, how long is it going to take them to get it?” My prayer, my pleas went on until my husband found me.

He talked to me and listened to my whining through the sobs and snot. He caressed me and tried to ease my pains. He asked me what I was doing. I shared my prayer and questions to God. Mark replied, “Maybe it isn’t a lesson for anyone. Maybe it is just part of living in a broken world.” Who asked him for his opinion? But, he is right. So much of life is simply life. Sure, we can learn from it, but all to often we make it a desert when it was really just a sand box.

And so it is with being used by God. We look at the things we do as menial, simple, and unworthy of God’s praise. God sees them as world changing, life-saving miracles. When God tells you to buy a $2.47 receipt book for a woman, do it.  It saved her thousands of dollars and kept her in college. When God tells you to lay hands on your charismatic-fearing neighbor, do it. Because eight years later she will be confessing the power of the Holy Spirit.

Don’t try to walk another person’s desert. God has not equipped you to take that walk. Do not envy what appears to be the grand gestures of others. Remember, even the smallest pebble makes waves.