It’s our wedding anniversary. I have been thinking about the week surrounding our wedding. As I look back, those seven days seem so revealing of what was to come. I wonder if we had known what the next 15 years would entail would we still have said, “I do”.

Let’s take a walk down memory lane of that week.

December 16th, 2002: It is four days before our wedding. We were making plans and simply doing life that day. Then I got a call from my oldest brother informing me that my biological mother had passed away. I never thought it would really bother me since I really didn’t know her, but it did. Our marriage has suffered great losses of friends and family, dreams, and more. What if we had known?

December 17th through the 19th: We watched as friends provided everything for our wedding. The food was donated and how many times throughout the last 15 years have we relied upon friends to provide the basic need of food for our family? Too many to count.  I remember the abundance of food given to us after your knee surgery did not go as planned. What if we had known we would be humbled in such ways? What if we had known?

Rebecca provided our wedding cake. Mark 10:9 was written on it. Through the last 15 years that scripture has been tested to the limit. There were times it just seemed everything was stacked against us and our marriage vows. What if we had known that we would have to fight so hard to remember God’s faithfulness.  What if we had forgotten that God keeps His Word and it was He that had joined us? What if we had known?

Another friend provided the flowers and yet another friend delivered them since we had forgotten them. How many times throughout the last 15 years has it been our friends and family bringing beauty into our lives. How many prayers were laid at the throne of God for us to conceive?  How many times have we forgotten to have hope, faith, and love, and a friend reminded us in the simplest of ways? What if we had known how easily we would forget God’s  creation and all the beauty surrounding us? What if we had known?

December 20th, 2002: It’s raining. I mean it’s pouring. It is a Florida summer monsoon out there. This isn’t rainy season. You are teasing me relentlessly about our beach wedding being moved due to rain. “It will quit”, is all I kept saying to you. It did stop raining and that brought an amazing sunset as our backdrop. I remember us jokingly drawing lines in the sand with our feet. Little did we know that those lines would be stepped on, crossed, and eventually erased totally. What if we had known how far we would push each other outside of our comfort zones? What if we had known?

Scott, your friend and co-worker, said such a beautiful prayer. I knew I was moved that this tough, quiet man had such conviction and passion in him. His wife, Laurie, officiated.  They were there days earlier when 911 was called due to me having a horrible reaction to some medicine.  I believe they saw more that night than they wanted to. It would be the first of too many visits to the ER. They were there when I went into labor with Kathelyn. It took you for-ev-er to get home. I can still hear Scott telling me to breath as he held ice on my neck, encouraging me to sway. They are still always there for us. How could we have known all that they would do for us? Would we have been better friends had we known? What if we had known?

There were people at our wedding that we did not know. They happened to be there and we invited them to join us. Through the years we have done this so often. Our home has been opened to those in need. Our table is not too good for anyone to join us for meals. We invite people into our lives as strangers and keep them there as family. What if we had known the people who God would bring into our lives. Would we have guarded ourselves against some? Would we have said, “no” instead of “yes” when others were in need? What if we had known?

Our ceremony ended with all of us gathered in a circle saying The Lord’s Prayer. I can still see my brother and marveling at God’s ways. What if we had known there would be days that our anger was so strong that we refused to pray? What if we had known the totally surrendered prayers we would cry out for our children and all that they would have to walk through? What if we had never known the gratitude that goes beyond words when our prayers were answered? What if we had known?

Finally, the honeymoon night. This is the moment that maybe in retrospect should have shown us the road ahead. These next three days were prophetic. We had given up the master suite to family that had driven a long way to be at our wedding. We knew sacrifice from day one. The girls were in their beds. The couches were too small. There in the middle room of our home, we made a bed on the floor. A cold, hard tile floor. Beneath that tile was concrete. At least we were starting out on a firm foundation. You kept the fireplace going. We had warmth and a flame to light our way. We were surrounded by family in our home and friends around our home. Laying on that floor was not comfortable. Our bodies hurt. We knew pain. What if we had known all the health issues we would face? What if we had known that those first three days of our marriage would be the story of us? What if we had known?

We have built our marriage on the strong foundation of God. We have always had a light showing us the way; even when we chose not to follow it. We have always been surround by children, so many children. We have always been surrounded by friends; good friends, loyal friends, lifetime friends.

We knew there would be pain and sacrifice. We knew there would be loss and anger. We knew there would be a God that was passionately pursuing our marriage. We have stayed where others would have run. We have loved when we could barely like. We have sacrificed when we had nothing. We have given at great loss to us. We have kept a covenant like no other.

But, what if we had known?

Those days were filled with loss, sacrifice, and pain. Those days were filled with so many miracles, so many friends, so much love, and so much hope. We have come to realize through all of our deserts, valleys, and mountains that we are broken–broken together. We know that without God, our marriage would have been a divorce statistic. We know that we can face anything as a trio.

What if we had known? What is ahead that we don’t know? We do not know, but we know The One who does know. And that’s all we need to know.

One last thing I need you to know–I still do!