Library Cards, Sex, and Life
Today, I took the children to the library. It is one of their favorite places to go. I love watching their eyes light up as they find and read books that bring them joy and laughter. I sit down at a table and simply watch them search the shelves for the “right” books. They each have their own library card and it is their responsibility to make sure they have it. I know they are young, but it is my “job” to teach them responsibility. They are responsible for their actions and the consequences, good or bad, of those actions.
Unfortunately, Matthew (aged 6) had lost his card after about a week of having it. I know he kept getting it out of his wallet to show people because he was so proud of it. Before we left the house, I told him he would need to tell the librarian that he had lost his card and ask her what he needed to do to get a new one. All the way to the library he practiced what he needed to say. It was adorable.
We walked in, he marched himself right up to the librarian, behind the counter I might add, and told her his situation. She explained that it would cost him one dollar to get a new card. He pulled out his wallet, gave her the money, and excitedly signed the back of his new card. Sadly, the couple behind us was appalled that I had made him pay for it out of his own money and let me know that by talking about me as if I weren’t standing twelve inches in front of them. He works hard for that money, making a few dollars a month for completing the responsibilities he has around the house.
Here’s the thing. I could have easily “fixed” this for Matthew. I could have explained to the librarian and paid the dollar. What would that have taught Matthew? He doesn’t have to take responsibility for his actions? That being irresponsible doesn’t “cost” us anything? Mommy and Daddy will “fix” his mistakes for him? Well, he has that card securely tucked in his wallet now. I hope next time he loses something, he will remember this day. There is a much bigger reason I did what I did.
In the all too near future, there will be bigger responsibilities, bigger mistakes to make, and bigger consequences that can lead to life-long regret for Matthew. If Mark and I are not helping him put handrails and guardrails in place now, it may be too late when he is older.
Soon he will be facing decisions that I will not be a part of. Sex, drugs, alcohol, driving, and bullying will all be faced at some point in his life. Will he make the right choices? Will Mark and I have shown him the dangers and consequences of certain choices? Will Matthew be strong in his moral convictions to resist the temptations of this world? Will he have friends that hold his same values speaking life to him and helping him see when he is nearing dangerous waters? Will he accept the consequences of poor choices or expect someone else to “fix” the problem?I never want Matthew to face charges for drunk driving. I never want him to think sex isn’t sacred. I never want him to contemplate telling his girlfriend/wife to get an abortion because he doesn’t want the responsibility of a child at his age, whatever age that may be. I never want to see him in jail or dead in a ditch somewhere. I never want to hear of him picking on someone simply because they do not look, act, or believe like him. And because I never want those things for him or me, I better be doing something about it now.
Teaching Matthew about sexual purity when he is 16, will be too late. Teaching him to not bully when he is 12, will be too late. Parents, we must be deliberate in teaching our children the dangers of our selfish decisions in age appropriate ways. We must help them put handrails and guardrails up in their lives. We must teach them before they are faced with situations. We must teach them to make wise choices in their friends and those that have influence in their lives. We don’t tell them not to touch a hot stove, not to play in the street, not to put bobby pins in outlets, and so many other things to take away their fun. We do it to protect them, just like God tells us things to protect us. He loves us far more than we could ever love our children and He is the perfect example of parenting.
Deuteronomy 6:5 “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
Teach them now!!! “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Benjamin Franklin.