A beautiful, young woman has passed away. Friends and family gather in the sanctuary to say goodbye, comfort each other, and pray for the two young children left without a mother.

I turned towards the back of the church just as Tonya walked in. She didn’t walk in alone. In fact, she is rarely alone. There always seems to be an entourage of women (or children) with her and this time was no different. There were four or five other women with Tonya. Women that have known her for twenty years or more. I have known Tonya for over twenty years. I know most of the women with her.

Many people do not have friendships that last half that long. That got me thinking. What is it about Tonya that women want and long to be around her? What is it about Tonya that draws women to her? Women that prefer the company of men are drawn to Tonya.

Tonya is the woman you can call at 2:00 am because you have lost all hope. She won’t just talk to you, she will drop everything and come to your home. I know this first hand. She is the type of woman that will discipline you with sternness and love. She is the woman that will call you out on your “crap” and confess her “crap” to you.

Tonya isn’t about what society thinks. She will talk to a drunk and a CEO with the same love and compassion. She will forgive the darkest of offenses. I know this firsthand also. She opens her home and heart to anyone. One of my favorite things about Tonya is that she will teach you a valuable life lesson in any situation. This memorial service was no different.

Tonya is a matriarch. I called her that and she blushed and humbly shrugged off my compliment. It is the truth. Every since the day I met Tonya, she has been a matriarch. She was in her late 20’s when we met, as was I. Even all those years ago, she had a group of women, young and old, that you could always find in her presence. People see her and run to her, are drawn to her, want to be around her, and long to be like her. Well, they think it is her, but they soon learn otherwise. They want what Tonya has. What does Tonya have? The heart of The Maker.

Tonya is not God, she is not Jesus and she would NEVER claim to even be in a category with them. But, she does have the heart of Jesus. That is what draws people to her.

There are so many stories in the Bible about the crowds that gathered around Jesus. They wanted and needed Him. They needed hope, a miracle, or to simply touch the hem of His garment. They needed love.

Tonya has learned the art of loving like Jesus. She isn’t perfect and she doesn’t always get it right, but she keeps trying. She lives out John 13:34 every day. I have hurt her deeply with my sins. She forgave me, loves me, and calls me friend to this day. If that is not Christ-like, then I don’t know what is. She has a way of teaching you a lesson that is practical and relevant. She learned that from reading The Word, the parables that Jesus taught, and by loving like she wants to be loved by God.

So, as we sat at this celebration of life, she taught me another lesson. There were a couple people that we all expected to show up because of their friendship and love for the young woman who had passed. They did not show up due to past hurts or how the friendship had grown cold over the years. We were all shocked and knew the regret they would someday suffer for not being there.

Tonya told us when you are debating on going to an event, regardless of what it is, ask yourself this: Is this going to be the only time this happens? A wedding, a funeral, a 50^th anniversary, a baptism, etc. If it is only going to happen once, GO!

Do not miss an opportunity to show love, mercy, and grace. Do not miss the funeral of someone you love or loved. Do not miss the moments in life that shape your heart. Do not miss the baptism of a friend. Do not let fear, regret, heartache, stubbornness, or unforgiveness cause you to miss out on a life lesson that will never come again.

Surround yourself with people that you can teach and be taught by. Give more than you ever get. Forgive when revenge and bitterness would be easier. Be a matriarch for the women in your life or a patriarch for the men in your life. Love with your arms stretched wide and all that you have pouring out to others.

You won’t regret it!