Don’t Be A Bully….Mom!

I recently heard a young boy say to his Mom, “You’re a bully Mom. That wasn’t nice to say”. I didn’t hear what she said that brought such a reaction from her son. I didn’t hear her say a word in response to him; she simply looked stunned.

Normally, when we think of a bully, we think of the kid that steals lunch money, beats up on the weaker children, or picks on anyone different than him. Sadly, I am noticing an abundance of bully moms. I saw it on my own Facebook wall as two moms belittled moms of two or less children.

I know these women. I know how many children they have. I am almost certain they teach their children not to be bullies. Bullying is not just physical violence, but the emotional tearing down of another. Bullying is making fun of other’s differences. Don’t we teach our children to embrace differences? Don’t we teach our children that God made each of us unique? Don’t we teach our children to get all the facts before passing judgment? Don’t we teach them not to judge period?

Apparently, according to these two women, moms that have two or less children have it easy and can’t begin to understand what moms with four, five or more children go through. This is probably only the beginning of things they say about other moms. What about the mom with only two children one of which has Down Syndrome? What about the mom with only two children both with Autism? What about the brand new mom who is learning this all for the first time? What about all the single moms? Do those moms have it easier than a mom of five?

Women, specifically moms, have become some of the biggest bullies I have met. We spew out insensitive, rude comments with little thought to to another mom’s feelings. “Oh, you don’t breastfeed?” “Really, you vaccinate your children?” “I would never send my children to public school!” “You allow your children to have McDonald’s?” “What I wouldn’t give to have only two.”

If you wonder what it would be like to only have two children, then maybe you should have stopped at two. Personally, I find it easier with more. They play and entertain each other. They teach and help each other. Sure, there are more fights, more laundry, more car seats, more meals, more toys, but there is also more joy, more hugs and kisses, and more opportunities to change the world.

Being a mom is a tough enough job without being put down by other moms for your individual choices. We go days without showers, nights without sleep, weeks without talking to our friends, and we go a lifetime questioning ourselves.

Instead of being a bully why not try being a builder-upper. Yes, I made it up, but it works.

When you come across a mom, help her! You don’t have to agree with all of her choices, but you can help her through her journey. You can provide an alternative thought or plan for her. Maybe she takes her kids to McDonald’s because she doesn’t know how to cook. Teach her. Moms ask me all the time why I don’t vaccinate and why I homeschool. I simply answer their questions. If they continue asking more, I offer articles and research papers they can read on vaccinations. I tell them what curriculum I use for school. I don’t dismiss or degrade them for vaccinating and sending their children to public school. I may not agree, but her children are in her care, not mine.

Maybe she gives her infant formula because her milk never came in or after weeks and months of trying, her and her child just couldn’t “get” breastfeeding. You have breastfed all of your children so far. Good for you! How would you feel if with your next child you couldn’t for whatever reason? Would you want other moms putting you down for it? Or would you rather they encourage you, pray for you, and let you know that it is okay to formula feed?

Not every mom has the luxury of feeding only organic food to her children. Not every mom has the ability to stay home from work to homeschool her children. Not every mom thinks like you. Not every mom has the patience or discipline to homeschool. So what????

There are pros and cons to most everything in life. BUT, there is absolutely not one pro to being a bully. Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

So, here is to the breastfeeding and bottle feeding moms. Here is to the moms that cook every meal from scratch and the moms who microwave. Here is to the moms that homeschool, public school and private school. Here is to the moms that vaccinate and don’t. Here is to the mom that is doing her best every day to provide the best care that she sees fit for her children.

Remember, the cross weighs the same no matter who is carrying it. Matthew 27:32 (NLT) Along the way, they came across a man named Simon, who was from Cyrene, and the soldiers forced him to carry Jesus’ cross. If Jesus needed help carrying his cross, don’t you think all of us moms do too? Did Jesus really need help carrying his cross? Do you think Simon wanted to be associated with a convicted criminal? Jesus’ only “crime” was loving His children. Maybe this was a lesson for Simon? Or maybe it was a lesson for you and me?