We count so many things in life. We learn to count at an early age. We love counting birthdays; at least when we are younger.


We count the numbers of grapes, candies, and pennies to make sure we got the same amount as our siblings. We count the hours until we can clock out. We count the number of days until vacation, Christmas, summer break, and so much more. We count the weeks and months before our soldiers return home safely. We count the years.


I stopped counting gray hairs. Actually, I lost count.


As we age, we start counting our blessings more and more.


There are those days though, where we are so lost in our own worlds. We sit and count the flowers on the wall. It is all we can muster up. When grief immobilizes you. You simply sit and exist.


Job 14:5 A man’s days are numbered. You know the number of his months. He cannot live longer than the time You have set.


319 days (as of this writing). 9,703 days together. 17,210 days total.


Those numbers probably mean nothing to you. They mean everything to a man I know and love. We all have the numbers whether we are conscious of them or not.


Some of mine would be: 270 days, 3,181 days, and 6,591 days. Days of heartache, overwhelming joy, and losing the greatest woman I ever knew.


Each time that I talk or text with Wayne, he tells me a number. Today, that number would be 319. It is the number of days since his loving wife passed away. They were married for 9,703 days. Her life consisted of 17,210 days.


It is heartbreaking when I hear him say the number. There is nothing I can say to make each passing day easier. There is nothing that can be done to put him back in the middle of the 6,591 days. The only guarantee is that the days will keep passing.


Death is inevitable. None of us are going to make it out alive. Losing someone you love is never easy. The heartache can last for the rest of your days. Some days may be easier, but the ache is always there. 

I am sure come August 17th of this year, Wayne’s heart will be inconsolable by any human.

What are you counting in your life?


In the midst of our hurt, loss, and mind-numbing pain it is easy to count the “bad” days. I try to remind myself that I don’t really have entire days that are bad, just bad moments.


It has been 6,591 days since my grandmother (Mama Jerri) passed away. That was a difficult day. I was sitting at Centennial Park with a friend. It was very cloudy and sprinkling. I was reminiscing about Mama Jerri when the clouds opened in the shape of a perfect circle and the sun shone through in a beautiful beam. I remember telling my friend, “My grandma just died”. A few moments later, I got the page from my brother that she had passed.


I was sad and cried. I was also thankful that I had spoken to her hours earlier to hear one last, “I love you” from her. I miss her. I am grateful that she is no longer in pain.


What hurts me most is that my children will never get to know her this side of heaven. But, I can do something about that. I can teach them about her. Her legacy will live on through me and hopefully through my children.


I cook and sew and garden with my children just like Mama Jerri did with me. I tell them about her crooked finger and how she taught me how to play the organ. I try to be funny, loving, smart, and always willing to learn like her. I read the Bible to them like she did with me.


I am going to start counting the times I talk about her with them. I am going to count the items in my house that she made or handed down to me. Things like porcelain dolls with hand made Christening dresses, butter churns, the humongous Bible, her raincoat and so much more. I am going to show my daughter that she has her great-grandmother’s cheeks.


I pray that Wayne and anyone else grieving the loss of a loved one, find something else to count as they find a way to bring a legacy to life; even in death.


The legacy of his wife decorating their home for every holiday; especially Halloween. The legacy of fishing in the dark, raspberry pie, and so much more. I pray that he finds a way to take a temporary thing like our fleeting lives and turn it in to an eternal memory for generations to come.


There will come a time when all the things of this world pass away. The only thing that will remain is God’s love for us.


Count your blessings. Leave a legacy. Never let the loss of a loved one be the end of them. Give God thanks for each day, each week, each year that you have. Praise Him in the moments; glorious and greivous.


Phillipians 3:7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ…