God has been putting a woman that I know on my heart.  Not in the usual way of just “popping” her into my heart, but in odd situations.  It took three separate situations for me to tie it all together and understand exactly how He wanted me to pray for this person.

The first time she popped into my head, I was outside playing with my two youngest children.  Matthew (who is four) was talking to me.  For whatever reason, he believes his face must be mere millimeters away from mine when he speaks to me.  As he was talking, he abruptly stopped and said, “I can see me in your eyes”.  He was seeing his reflection in my eyes.  I could also see myself in his eyes.  The sad thing is, that being that close I was the only thing I could see.  I couldn’t see his blonde hair blowing in the wind.  I couldn’t see his cute dimples or ornery grin.  I couldn’t see anything but myself.  Then, the thought of this woman was on my mind. But why?  Why was she on my mind as I played with my children?

The second weird moment that God put this woman on my mind was while watching my children bake a cake. Livvy and Matthew wanted to make a cake for Courtney, their older sister’s birthday.  I got out the ingredients, they donned their chef hats, got out their “helping” stools and proceeded.  I stood back and merely watched, most of the time in horror.  

Livvy cracked the eggs into a separate bowl before adding them to the mix.  There were bits and pieces of eggshells in each broken egg that I helped her pick out.  Matthew poured the cake mix into the bowl.  Not all the mix got in the bowl.  I will have to clean the counters now.  Since they did not stir all the ingredients before turning on the mixer, the powder went flying everywhere much to their delight.  I wasn’t delighted as I thought of all the wiping down I would be doing.  

By the time they were done getting the batter in the pans, I was making a mental list of all I would have to clean when they were done.  The “mess” continued as they attempted to spread the icing and kept ripping the cake.  Great, now there were pieces of cake in the icing.  Their older sister doesn’t even like icing, but they didn’t care.  The cake was finally done and I could go about cleaning my kitchen.  Yet, as I cleaned, this same woman came to my mind.  Why was God putting this woman on my mind while I had to scrub down my kitchen?

The final scenario that God put this woman on my heart was during a tedious sewing moment.  A friend had asked me to hem her bridesmaid dress for her sister’s upcoming wedding.  Not a problem, how hard could a simple one inch hem be?  Finding the right colored thread proved nearly impossible.  I finally found the thread and went to work on the hem.  Hemming is easy when you have a straight hem, but when that hem flows and is made of fabric that can easily snag, it gets a little tricky to make it look straight and perfect.  I am all about everything being perfect.

With the first hem finally done, I moved on to the shear overlay of the dress.  Because of the material, imagine sewing pantyhose, I decided to hand sew the hem.  My grandmother had taught me what she called a “whip-stitch”.  It is a series of tiny stitches spaced out by hiding the thread in a fold in the fabric.  Again, this would have been easier if the hem were straight, but it wasn’t.  It flowed and gradually met up with another piece of shear fabric sewn to the dress at an angle.  To keep the beautiful flow of the dress, I had to angle the hem where all the pieces met.  By the time I was done, my eyes hurt and I didn’t want to see the dress.  Sadly, I really hadn’t looked at the dress anyway.  My entire focus had been on the hem.  I had only looked at the bottom couple of inches of this dress.  The woman was on my mind.

Finally, I prayed and asked God why He kept putting this woman on my mind at the strangest, sometimes frustrating moments.  All I heard back was, “Go look at the dress”.  I went to my closet, pulled out the dress, took the protective plastic off and just stared at the dress.  It was beautiful.  The deepest royal-blue you can imagine.  I pictured the lady that would be wearing this dress, knowing the color would make her eyes really shine.  I thought of how feminine she would look standing to her sister’s side at the wedding.  And then it hit me.

I finally understood why God kept putting this woman on my heart and what He was revealing about myself at the same time.

In the first situation with Matthew’s face in mine, the only thing I could see was myself.  It is a dangerous place to be when all your focus is on yourself.  I was too close.  Sometimes, we need to take a step back, breath and enjoy the moment.  The woman that God had been putting on my heart is getting married soon, very soon.  I am sure she is stressed about all the little details.  I prayed that God would give her moments where she could step back, breath and see the big picture.

Livvy and Matthew didn’t attempt to make a perfect cake in their minds.  They were baking out of love and all I could see was a mess.  They baked a cake to see the smile on Courtney’s face.  They baked because they love their sister and at their ages, this was the most precious gift they could give her.  In my perfectionism, I missed the giggles, them sneaking raw batter, their memories of Courtney as they prepared her cake.  I missed the big picture because I was wrapped up in worrying about all that was going “wrong” and thinking of what else could go “wrong”.  I prayed for the woman.  I prayed that worry would leave her.  I prayed that she would be able to focus on the love.  Her love, her fiance’s love and the love of family and friends.  I prayed she would focus on the love of God, who created marriage.  I prayed that she would see the big picture; LOVE!

Finally, as I stood looking at that beautiful, royal-blue dress, I prayed.  While I had been so focused on the tiny stitches of a hem, I had missed the beauty of the dress.   I prayed that she wouldn’t get so caught up in worrying that every centerpiece, every detail was perfect that she missed the beauty of her own wedding.  I can imagine that she is feeling stressed and wanting everything to go right and be perfect.  After all, it is her wedding day.  I have been to a lot of weddings; something ALWAYS goes “wrong”.  Wrong in the eyes of the bride, wrong in the eyes of some person.  But, is is really wrong if the flower girl trips while parading down the aisle?  Is it wrong if the groom says waffle instead of lawful?  Not at all, those moments are what makes the big picture so memorable.

I will be praying for this woman all during this last week before her wedding.  I will be praying for her on her wedding day.  I will be praying for her as she repeats after me and marries her best friend.  

I will be praying that God reminds me often to not miss the big picture by being so worried about “what if”.  There is a time for details and there is a time to stand in the amazing love of God and take in the big picture.  There is never a time to worry.  

I encourage each of us to take a step back, take a deep breath and look at the big picture.  You are loved by an incredible God.  Let Him worry about the details while you do what we were all commanded to do: LOVE.  After all, isn’t that what a wedding is all about?